Mini-Ep 390: The Everyday Pant Rec
Kate and Doree ponder living in their middle-aged bodies and hear from listeners about free-mugging on a bus, a great soft pant rec, and how to start volunteering. Plus: some perfume chat!
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Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer.
Doree: And I'm Doree Shafrir.
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: We are not. We're two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Kate: And this is what we call a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.
Doree: But just a reminder, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts, and we do strongly encourage you to reach out to those medical or mental health professionals if you know, ask something that is beyond the scope of our non expertise.
Kate: Please do that.
Doree: Please do that. Also, I realize that this is like, we're almost halfway through the month, but happy pride month everybody.
Kate: Yeah. Doree, happy pride. Look, I'm a straight lady who thinks of herself as a queer ally, and I think a lot of it can be very easy for us straight folks to be happy, pride, and not acknowledge the fear that a lot of our friends in the LGBTQA community are living in right now and always, but we've seen a lot of really transphobic and homophobic laws and rhetoric. So we want to also wish you wish folks a celebratory month and let you know that we are with you and your allies, but also just note that the other shit is very real and is important to us to show up in that way too.
Doree: But also, like Kate said, we can celebrate. We celebrate all of you.
Kate: I was at a pride event just this weekend actually. It was really wonderful.
Doree: Oh, look at you
Kate: in Culver City. Yeah. Well, there was a real fun out outfit, fashion show going on.
Doree: Oh, fun.
Kate: It was fun. And then I went the next day and I fell off a horse. So that was unrelated, but just what happened to me this weekend.
Doree: So last night I got a text from you that said you had fallen off a horse.
Kate: I did. I fell off a horse. I got back on the horse. Well, last night got back on the horse.
Doree: Literally and Figuratively.
Kate: Yes. Yes. But we've talked so much about my love for horses and how I grew up as a horse girl and how I recently started taking lessons again. And then last night I had my first fall since I was a kid, which is a part of horseback riding. Horseback riding is a dangerous sport. It should be noted. It's physically dangerous. You are in a relationship with another animal and trusting each other and that animal has its own body autonomy. And my buddy, he got scared of something and stepped back real quickly and I just went to toppling. So I'm fine. I'm very sore and I think I have pulled one of my groin muscles very badly. So I'm actually icing as we do this podcast, but I'm mentally fine and physically fine. But it was kind of a whoa, humbling, that kind of when you hurt yourself and you're in that weird shock where you don't kind of laughing and crying and adrenaline racing and all that feeling.
Doree: Yeah. So what was the immediate aftermath?
Kate: My trainer was like, do not get up. Okay. Stay there on the ground. And she came. We got the horse, collected the horse, and came and then sat with me and stood well, stood with me and hold, held him and it was fine. It was okay. I was more just startled and that shaky.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: Feeling totally. But then I took some time, I got back on, I walked him back to the barn. He's fine. Also, let me clarify. The horse is okay. And then I hobbled into a C V S. On my way home, I bought a bunch of Aleve and a bunch of Epsom salt and Anthony drew me a bath, which was very nice. And I took a bath and then I took Aleve pm and I also, you know what I did? I was like, I need something that's going to make me feel better. I'm going to go get a vanilla cream at Starbucks. So Starbucks, drivethrough, I love a vanilla cream. Well, what I wanted really was a cocktail, but that's not happening with the medication. So I went and got a vanilla cream something, a cocktail seemed really good after falling off a horse, but it didn't happen. So that's what I'm doing. I'm just, just sitting here ing taking it easy.
Doree: I'm sorry Kate.
Kate: It's okay. Shit happens. Remember when you pulled your leg moving Henry out of his car seat? Like our bodies. We are in middle aged bodies and I'm glad to be in mine. And it's also a reminder that we're not, our bodies are not infallible. Fallible is, infallible is not the right word. I'm looking for
Doree: infallible.
Kate: Infallible, thanks Doree. What's the word I'm looking for? Our bodies are, I don't know,
Doree: Old and creaky.
Kate: Yeah. Our bodies are old and creaky. I mean they ever, my body is old and creaky after I get off a horse when I don't fall, when I fall off a fucking horse, I like Anthony was watching me and he was like, is this for real? I was walking, oh my God, I could barely walk. I had to hold onto a chair. I mean it last night was rough, but today's I'm feeling better. Yeah. So not taking this body for granted.
Doree: I'm so sorry, Kate.
Kate: Well, we did receive a text message from a listener that I feel like is going to cheer you right up.
Doree: Okay. Let's hear it.
Kate: Text good morning. From the number one bus in Boston, Massachusetts where a fellow passenger is free mugging their coffee right next to me in rush hour traffic now. Okay, now this is where I draw the line. You don't free mug
Doree: On a bus
Kate: And no on public transportation. No, absolutely not. You need a lid.
Doree: Okay. I would also just like to note that I took this bus many times.
Kate: Where does the number one bus go in Boston, Massachusetts.
Doree: It, well, it runs along Mass Ave.
Kate: Mm Love it.
Doree: And then it goes over the Charles and it goes through Central Square and ends in Harvard Square. So let's just say,
Kate: oh my God, I'm dying.
Doree: 10th grade, Doree is hanging out at the other side, cafe and Urban Outfitters and Tower Records on Newbury Street.
Kate: Oh, in Harvard Square. Oh, you were in Har. Okay. Newbury Street. Okay.
Doree: And then she wants to tootaloot on over to Harvard Square. Well, she hops on the number one bus and takes the bus to Harvard Square.
Kate: So this is interesting because 10th grade Kate was also hanging around those spots, but I would take the green line to the red line on the T to get to Harvard Square. I didn't even know about the buses.
Doree: Yeah, I mean, yes, of course you can take the green line to the red line, but that's a long, like the bus was direct.
Kate: Yeah, that sounds way better. But as you're describing this, I'm cackling to myself because as we know, Boston is a city made up of cow paths and it's not like you're on a smooth straight line on this bus. You are stopping and starting. You are cutting through traffic.
Doree: Oh yeah,
Kate: You're going through cer. There's a rotary maybe. I don't know. But this is a rocky ride for a free mug.
Doree: Oh yes. In terms of a free mug. This is, I mean, that's bold. That is bold.
Kate: That is very Boston
Doree: To just free mug with impunity on a bus.
Kate: What? Yeah, I think even you and I both, we've come, we've reached our point of
Doree: Wow. So this we've found Kate's line in the sand.
Kate: Well you can't because. As you have mentioned now look, I take full responsibility if I free mug by myself in my car and I spilled that coffee on myself like that. I did that to myself. But if you're free mugging on a bus or a subway planes, I'm going to let slide. But you could really knock that all over somebody else.
Doree: Oh Yeah. And if it's hot, I mean that's a lawsuit waiting t happen.
Kate: Wow. Only in Boston.
Doree: I, this just reinforces my belief that free muggers are anarchists.
Kate: We have a healthy distrust of authority and travel mugs. Well, thank you for this message. This really made me chuckle. I think the combination of someone free mugging, but also just it being in our hometown of the Bean, as I like to say. Just double whammy. Okay. Let's switch gears and hear from a listener who is seeking some support in shopping for pants. They wrote to us. Hi Kat and Dor. I am in eating, I eating disorder recovery and I'm hoping to ask for recommendations for everyday pants that aren't jeans. Jeans just don't feel great on my body right now. And I'm hoping to find other cute and stylish options. I've spent a lot of time in stores finding jeans that feel okay on my body, the right size, not pulling or tugging in the wrong places, et cetera. But once I'm out and about, I find myself spiraling about how I look, how they feel so restrictive and uncomfortable. I'm in my late twenties and have a pretty casual wardrobe. I would describe my body type as curvy and I'm average height. Well, I jotted down a couple thoughts for you of places that I like to shop for, elastic waist pants that I think still look kind of stylish. Some of them arm denim, but they're made with a lot of stretch and are super comfortable. But I want to make sure I just note that maybe you don't even want that. But that just, my brain went to a couple options of places that I've tried. So I have a few pairs of pants from Spanx because the Spanx company makes just regular everyday clothes and they're super comfortable and elastic waist and
Doree: They're also, they're cute. You are talking about those pink pants you have or
Kate: A different pair. And I have another pair of black pants that are from Spanx too. Yes. And you complimented me on my pants and I was like,
Doree: I did compliment you.
Kate: They're from Spanx and I like Spanx. They make their sizing seems to go from extra small to three x. They have it in regular, petite and tall. So I do feel like they are accounting for a lot of different body shapes. So I would recommend looking there. I have also had luck with a occasional podcast sponsor, beta brand.
Doree: Oh, okay.
Kate: Now they do make jeans, but they are with, they call themselves the dress pant. They make the dress pant yoga pant. But the jeans that I have from them, they're denim, but they're so stretchy, so comfortable. I love them and they also look really good. Then a couple other spots I wanted to shout out. Everlane always has some good kind of stylish but more comfortable stretchy pants. I love like a Lululemon, an Athleta, a Veri elastic waist pant, and someone on some Instagram or some group that I'm in just posted that Costco has some nice. Jogger, not vori jogger. Knockoffs for like 14 bucks. And I just got an elastic waste Banana Republic pant at Costco. So I think a lot of jogger is always cool looking like I love that kind of athletic casual wear.
Doree: I would, may I also add a couple of suggestions?
Kate: You may not. Just may. You must. We demand it.
Doree: I would also look at Quince. They have a few elastic waist pants that are cute and their prices are reasonable in the not super reasonable price category is aloe yoga.
Kate: Oh yeah.
Doree: But they have really cute stuff. So if you want to splurge, maybe check them out.
Kate: Great question listener. We hope you find something that works for you. Yeah.
Doree: All right. We are going to take a break, but before we do that, just want to remind everyone you can call or text us at (781) 591-0390. You can email us at Forever35Podcast@Gmail. We do link to everything we mention on the show at Forever35podcast.com. And we are on Instagram @Forever35podcast. You can sign up for our newsletter at forever35podcast.com/newsletter and shop our favorite products at shopmy.us/Forever35. Okay. We are back with an email from our friend Barb. She's not our actual friend, but Barb. Barb writes in a lot and we really appreciate Barb. So Barb, thank you for writing in.
Kate: This one's for you Barb,
Doree: This one's for you. Hi Kate and Doree, just listen to your episode with Maureen Goo, whose books I also love and it made me think of my middle school days. Remember, I'm your Forever 65 who likes good and plenty like your moms did. Maybe could confirm with her mom. Our scent was Love's Baby Soft and we wore the white Yardley lipstick, which I can still smell as if I were Uncapping it. Yes, white lipstick. Now a mission for you. I've been using Sephora's Hair texturing spray, which has been amazing. Running Low because I founded at TJ Maxx ages ago. I think it's been discontinued what would be a similar product. They advertise the Amica undone texture and matte spray. Just not the same. My hair is very thin and fine and quite fussy. I was having such good success. Love you both. Thank you for your camaraderie each week. No need to air this. Just wanted to say hi. And if you can dabble with the Sephora dupe, I'd be grateful. X O X Barb. Well, we did air this. Barb.
Kate: Barb, we did it. We aired it. Okay. So I find texturing spray kind of a mystery. I have one that I think is from Mill Bond that I like, but I don't know what's going to make the difference for each person.
Doree: Right,
Kate: I see that way. I like whey hair products. I've never tried their texturing spray. I also like Kristen Ess, which I just get a target. They have a texture spray.
Doree: I have a texture spray that I like.
Kate: Who's it by
Doree: The Oribe Textures Dry texturizing spray.
Kate: Okay, now can we talk about Oribe for a second?
Doree: Sure. It's expensive. I'm not going to lie, but I think it's pretty good.
Kate: So I have an Oribe product that I freaking love.
Doree: Oh, Okay.
Kate: It's their beach wave and shine spray.
Doree: I think I have this one too
Kate: Where what I, why I love Oribe. Who knew? I just, I've always loved this product.
Doree: I mean Oribe is a classic,
Kate: I guess. So anyway, I have a real in love relationship with this beach wave spray. So this makes me want to try the texturing spray now are they pricey Oribe?
Doree: Yeah,
Kate: 44 bucks. Yeah, that's a lot.
Doree: It's not a drugstore product.
Kate: Right. I also like living proof's Texturizing spray, I think.
Doree: Oh yeah. And there's also the classic Bumble and Bumble beachy, what's it called? Beach.
Kate: I know what you mean.
Doree: Beach spray. I think it's just called Beach Spray.
Kate: I would recommend
Doree: Surf Spray. Surf Spray. That's what it's called.
Kate: There we go. My thought would be to try to get these products in mini sizes to try them out. I know you can get a lot of these in a travel size so that way you aren't spending as much because this can be a costly endeavor to try to find a solution to a discontinued product. That's a spendy journey. So keep us posted and if anyone has any recs, please do share.
Doree: Please share. Okay, thank you Barb. We're always here for you.
Kate: Always.
Doree: Okay, next email. Hi Kat dor. I'm wondering if you all have any regular volunteer commitments in your life and if you have any advice for someone looking to start or restart After college, I served in the Peace Corps, but I've been back from that for years now and I'm struggling to figure out how to get back to some type of service. I feel like I need to do more to contribute to society, but how all the volunteer opportunities in my church conflict with having a nine to five and I dunno where I should search help. I'm wasting away at my cubicle and I just want to do anything helpful.
Kate: Well, I mean, yes I do, but I think there are so many places that could use your support and we could probably find, you could probably find something that works within your schedule. My volunteer commitments, I have kind of focused around my kids' schools and kind of some local issues, I'm on the PTA executive board.
Doree: What would you suggest?
Kate: Not to toot my own horn, but
Doree: What would you suggest for someone who wants to get started in?
Kate: So I feel I was thinking about this Doree because my family went up to the Gentle Barn, I should say nonprofit here, LA with animals. And I actually ran into a woman I have met at Pickleball and she was volunteering and I was like, should I volunteer at the Gentle Barn? I love animals and I like talking to people I think figure out what would feel good for you outside of work to do. What are you interested in? Where do you feel like you could be of service? I have a friend who has kind of a cooking background. She volunteers at a neighborhood garden once a week, kind of thinking about what would feel good and what is realistic with your schedule. Because truly, I don't think it's about how much time you can give, it's what is the quality of service you can give and the time that you have. So maybe just start thinking about that stuff and then truly it's just a Google search of volunteers needed and then add what you're looking for. My kids and I often on Sundays make little lunches for unhoused folks in our neighborhood that is part of a larger, an organization that collects them. We also, one thing my family does that is not a weekly thing, but we always try to make sure the little free pantry near us is stocked. And that's a big project that we kind of always just drive by and check it and then we'll go and each one of my kids has a thing like Eleanor likes to search for the toiletries and Lydia and I do the canned goods and then we restock it and tidy it up and stuff like that. So I feel like there are things you can do that don't require having to be somewhere at a certain time, but are still ways you can help your community. I don't know. Doree thoughts?
Doree: Yeah, I don't have anything regular right now. I'd like to, but I do some stuff with my kids' school, but it's not, I don't feel like it's helping the greater world.
Kate: Well, I think it is. Speak for yourself. I think too, I think also there are a lot of organizations that need help that you can do from home, need help making phone calls, need help writing social media posts
Doree: Like, oh, I forgot I did. I did volunteer with a campaign.
Kate: Yeah, you did
Doree: In the fall. I forgot about that. But since then, I haven't really been doing anything other than trying to get people to donate money to our giving circle, but that's not really what this person is talking about.
Kate: Well, I think you're doing great.
Doree: Oh, thanks Kate. I appreciate you. All right. Another text on a completely unrelated topic. Wanted to recommend Egyptian Magic for dry skin as a drugstore is Find. I've eczema some places and nothing seemed to help long-term, not lotions or ointment or steroids. I've been using Egyptian Magic for the last two weeks consistently and have seen a noticeable improvement. It is just olive oil and B products, so it has a lovely honey fragrance.
Kate: I like Egyptian magic. I've got it. I've purchased it a Costco. I haven't used it. I haven't. I'm sorry. I said I got it. I meant to say I have purchased it before at Costco, but I haven't used it in years. So I got to work my way through other products before I add to my collection. But I love an Egyptian magic.
Doree: It's a classic for a reason.
Kate: Yeah. Yeah.
Doree: That's great.
Kate: Okay, let's take another pause and we'll be back with some perfume chat before we wrap up.
Doree: Sounds good. All right. We are back and we're going to end with a couple of voicemails.
Voicemail: Hi, Kate Doree. This is Kim calling from the Pacific Northwest longtime, sometimes listener and first time caller, current cleaner for my in-laws visit. Yikes. And I was just catching up and listening to your coverage of Chanel number five. And probably I'm not the first person to call in to say it, but I just have to say to be aware that the product has changed so much over time. The formulation has changed so much. It's a completely different animal. I came into a bottle of vintage Chanel number five, just the ODE cologne, probably circa seventies at an estate sale once. And I was just like, oh, this is cheap. I've always wondered about this. I wasn't really into fragrance, but I've had kind of hooked on it immediately. And then the next time I was like at a Chanel five. I like that. I sprayed some, I was aghast. It's revolting. It's nothing like it used to be. But that discovery was what kind of got me into niche vintage fragrances, and it's been really such an interesting journey. And so yeah, if you can find an old bottle worth checking out new stuff, no, no way. But have a great day. Take care. Bye-bye.
Kate: Okay, I have a question.
Doree: Yes,
Kate: We, Do we think the old bottle, the smell has changed over time?
Doree: Like, it turned.
Kate: Yeah.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: I'm just curious. I don't think a perfume scent is going to last that long. I mean, maybe that one did though. I'm fascinated.
Doree: Yeah, I mean, we know, we touched on this in the episode that the formulation has changed.
Kate: That's right.
Doree: But it was not clear to me how much it has changed. But this listener seems to be saying it's basically a completely different perfume.
Kate: Yeah. Fascinating. Okay. Hot tip. All right.
Doree: Hot tip.
Kate: Well, we have one other fragrance update. We have another fragrance opinion from a listener that we're going to share. Okay.
Voicemail: Hi. I was calling your product recall on Chanel number five. I am, I was going to say my age, just if it made me sound young, but I'm 32. I do think it's Old lady perfume. I know we don't like that word, but it doesn't, it's, it's so heavy. And I think maybe I'm more used to not, there's like OD and then there's whatever Odette I think is lighter. I feel like there's a lot of that in perfumes. So if you buy number five, it's so crazy strong. You need so little of it. But that's not why I was calling. I just wanted to say if you haven't smelled Chance by Chanel, that one is incredible. It's like turn your head stop and ask what they're wearing. Really good. So I dunno. We dunno if we like Chanel, but if you're going to try any perfumes, I would go with Chance.
Doree: Okay. Hot tip.
Kate: I'll sniff it. I'm still working. My new scent from DS and Durga. Steamed Rainbow. Trying. I'm still really eeking out what I can of sample. Wondering if I should go for it. Haven't decided.
Doree: Oh, are you thinking about going for it?
Kate: I'm think I'm thinking about the full-size bottle. I just haven't, I have to really think about it.
Doree: Okay. Okay.
Kate: The first note of this scent is Heaven on Earth. I fucking love it. And then it changes into a soaper kind of smell. I don't know. I'm still debating. I'm still on the fence. I still have a third left of my sample. Big stuff happening over here. Big stuff.
Doree: Okay. This is exciting.
Kate: It's big. Yep. Next time you see me, I might smell like a rainbow.
Doree: I can't wait. I can't wait. Kate, this has been a delight to get to talk to you,
Kate: Doree, as always, the pleasure's mine
Doree: Indeed. All right. Bye everybody.